Reflections on Summer

My aim for the summer holidays was to build happy memories, particularly in light of the diagnosis/prognosis for Eve. I wanted a summer of happy memories before she becam too weak to enjoy the things we do together.
The plans were there, we had lots in mind to achieve, lots to look forward too.
Much of it happened. Some of it went to plan, some things went well.

Then there were the bits that didnt.

The Bible tells me though that God knows His plans for me and they are plans He has made for my ultimate good!

Jeramiah puts it like this

I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29 v 11

We planned a barbecue for friends to come and play the first Tuesday of the holiday....the morning dawned wet and windy and the rain continued to fall. half the guests decided not to come!

The CdLS conference was the next plan and that went well apart from it was preceded by the news of my Dad's diagnosis of Pancreatic Cancer. Mum insisted we were to go to the conference and make the most of our opportunities there. It was genuinely what they wanted for us and we tried our best to do that...but the news was there, niggling at the back of our minds all the same.
We did enjoy the conference and the opportunities to enjoy meeting up with new and old friends, meeting some old friends for the first time and making the most of the opportunities to speak with the profesionals we met there too. All in all it was a good four days and we learnt more of Rosie's condition.

Returning home to the usual round of hospital trips and general chaos that is our life we were able to spend a little time trying to accept Dad's news, then a call from Mum and Dad to say they were going to aim to visit us. This gave me something positive to look forward to and a brightness against the dark backdrop of the news. So we looked towards our annual holiday. We had changed our usual holiday destination of Sherwood Forest for the hustle and bustle of a holiday park in Cleethorpes. Remaining in our own County, keeping familiar hospitals in easy reach and yet a place full of activity. I had reservations about this change but the kids and David were keen to do somthing different.

Another highlight! We were spending the first week there with the friends we made last year. That was a deffinite bonus, the kids were good friends and so were the adults so it was a real joy to know we were going to spend so much time with them.

And so before we knew it we were packing bags and ordering medicines and organising all the medical stuff to head off up the A16 to Cleethorpes. The girls even managed to have a wheelchair appointment the day before we left so they had brand new chairs to take away! I did take the precaution of keeping Eve's old seating unit just in case of problems. It turned out to be a wise move!
Saturday dawned bright and cheerful and off we set. The roads were not too busy and apart from the obligatory tractor here and there we made good progress and arrived at the gates of the park just as Lisa sent a text asking when we planned to set off!
As we walked around the site in that first few minutes I hated it!
We went to the eating area and the place was crowded and hot, the pool was so crowded it looked unsafe, the place was just so busy! Filled with other peoples horrid children who stared freely...they were followed by their equally horrid parents who stared open mouthed and obviously. I have never been bothered particularly by kids staring, usually preferring to laugh at their misfortune when their staring means they dont look where they are going....but this was different, this was so blatant and rude and obnoxious and arrogant and the parents were worse!

anyway the holiday did not improve, I hated every minute on the site! The kids bikes were stolen one night, cars and motor bikes raced around the site between 11 pm and 1 am every night the noise was horrendous. Thankfully the weather was great and we did manage to get off park on several occasions and these were times to treasure. We visited The Deep in Hull...fantastic! I must publicly thank Michelle for her help, Such a treasure, she had saved tokens from papers for discounts, had managed to get us Humber Bridge passes and had taken the time to print out directions and information not only about the deep but several other places of interest around the area too! Thank You Michelle I really do appreciate the time you took to do this.

Another day we went to the boating lake and enjoyed a Chinese Buffet for lunch. David at more in one mealtime than he usually does in a few days, sadly this also meant that he had no interest in food for the next four days and could not understand why the rest of us still wanted tea that night!

We also spent a day in Mablethorpe which we loved. We found a wonderful Cafe for lunch and then walked along the prom, Rosie enjoyed a donkey ride and then everyone else had a ride whilst Rosie had a second, that was great fun. We found some great shops and managed to even buy some birthday and Christmas presents.

We had a lovely visit from Iris and Sarah and Grace and took them out for a meal. We also had a visit from Sue and Nic who brought Rosie's cycle trailer so Bethan could take her for rides.

By the Wednesday of the second week we had been stressed to breaking point and a problem with Joshua's new bike that the shop refused to rectify ended up being the last straw and David flipped,. We came home! Stressed exhausted and very unhappy!

I was cross! that's putting it mildly, David will not stop and think through the consequences of his temper, he was annoyed with the situation but took that out on us no thought for the rest of us and I was not happy! I was about to insist we did something specifically for Joshua and Christina the next two days when he actually made the same declaration. to cut a long story short we found a great deal online and the next morning headed off to Chorley!

We had a fantastic two days at Camelot, staying at the onsite hotel, swimming morning and night and enjoying the theme park, it was brilliant a deffinite memory building experience.

Once back home it was unpacking, trying to organise the house for Mum and Dad's visit. Iris had made a huge impression on the house in our absence and then we came home and made it a mess again! The problem is the more I tidy the worse Rosie seems to make it. The crumbs oin the front room floor seem to have a homing device and just reappear every time. The clothes I wash and dry put away an dthen they are back in the wash basket! my energy an denthusiasm for cleaning just left home a long time ago, Thankfully although I really did want to have it decent for Mum coming, they were never going to be worrying about the state of the housework, and certainly knew me well enough to accept me as they found me!
And so Wednesday morning we headed off for Norwich Airport, It was holiday club at Church so Joshua and Christina were off there and the rest of the children were staying at the Manse with Sue and the Girls, and then J and C would rejoing them after club. We aimed to get Mum and Dad home then go back for the kids.
It was David and Christina's birthdays on Wednesday too. Christina chose to open two presents before going out then keep the rest to open with Grandma and Granddad. Sue and the girls had put up balloons and banners and baked a cake so Christina felt very special. It was so kind of them all,
So we headed off and met the plane and then heded home again. We stopped in Cromer for lunch and spent some time just chatting and catching up and just being together. Then we started off back home. David was tired by this time and we changed our plans to picking up the kids before we got home. A short stop to say hello to the pastor and his family before finally arriving back at home. Dad was shattered and headed straight for bed, whilst the rest of us sat together quietly chatting in the lounge.

Two days is such a short space of time. Catching up on the last 18 months, of course we had talked on the phone Mum and Dad had read the blog, we knew the facts but the emotions and companionship of 18 months apart needed to be shared. How do you do that when you know this time is for saying goodbye too? How do you enjoy two days of being together when ahead looms the finality of goodbye.
God assures us that His peace passeth all understanding.
A speaker at Church once explained this as being like the stillness deep down underneath the turmult of stormy seas. The waves may be crashing and bulding to mountainous heights but if you were to dive down underneath then the peace and tranquility was still there.
That peace is very very real to me. Around me on the surface my emotions are building and crashing like the mountainous waves, but deep in my heart I am at peace, secure in the knowledge that God is in control, piloting my life across the stormy sea to Heaven's Harbour.

We used to sing a chorus in Sunday School

Do you want a pilot?
Signal then to Jesus,
Do you want a pilot?
Bid Him come aboard.
For He will safely Guide,
across the ocean wide.
Until we reach at last the heavenly harbour!

So I was determined I was not going to fret about Saturday until Saturday came. I think for the most part I managed it. We had a lovely time together, we managed to go out for an hour on Thursday and then on Friday evening Grandma and Grandad were able to joing the Prize giving and BBQ Service that ended the holiday club. Joshua and Christina were very pleased they were there.
So Saturday did arrive, we did make the long journey back to Norwich airport and we did say goodbye. I am ashamed to say I could not go into the airport. I hugged Mum and Dad goodbye and the tears started to flow. David took them back across the Airport and sorted out their assistance and I stayed in the Bus with Sarah, Jonathan Rosie and Eve.
We drove back as far as Cromer in almost silence, Joshua was sobbing and tears running silently down my face. I asked David if he felt up to stopping a while somewhere? He agreed it was a good idea and we stopped at Kelling Heath to view the park with a view to booking next year.

It was a good choice of place to stop. The staff were wonderful, so welcoming and helpful. We think we have found our next years holiday. We had a drink and a cake and a wander around and then made the final leg home. Actually Mum rang before we were back home to say they were home! They travelled from Norwich to Redruth quicker than we got from Norwich to Kings Lynn! Amazing!

And now we are home, school is looming on Thursday, and the house feels so empty without Mum and Dad. How can a house of seven people feel so empty.

I need to organize a party for Christina in the next couple of weeks. Not sure how I find the time and energy for that. Still need to ensure that school things are sorted and uniform in order.

Joshua is going on a French Trip in October and I am sure I have not done everything I should have for that.

Where did the summer go? I am longing for term to start to allow me some time to think, but it has gone far too quickly. Loads of hopsital appointments looming, Appointments to follow up, Solicitor to sort out over the build issues and what else is it I must not forget.......oh yes BREATHE!

Sorry, a long offload and wallow there, but I needed it out of my head to deal with more effectively.
If you made it through and feel led to pray for us, Thank You!
Goodnight
Tina