Memories

Memories shape our todays dont they?
This week is a reminder of 19 years ago and the events of 19 years ago make what we see today more difficult. They also make how we cope with normal events more dificult and make our reactions less predictable.
David and I cope differently amd yet similarly too.
6th April 1990 we held our first son for the last time.
7th April dawned as our son drew his last breaths/
8th April 1990 Should have been a day of celebration, Lukes 4th Birthday. Instead it was a day of tears and grief as we turned our thoughts to his funeral.

fast forward 19 years. We spent today much in silent contemplation. Watching our youngest daughter lie much of the day silent, sleeping or drifting in and out of sleep.

Children playing around us. patience less than it should be.
Thoughts of Luke's life mixing with the laughter and shouts...sometimes in fun sometimes in anger.

The day drifted on and we managed to get some smiles and laughter from Eve before she fell asleep oince more

Smal things the children do annoy frustrate and anger us and we lose patience.
The day ended sadly miserably and not the day I want to remember .

Memories.....

I need to build the happy memories we have of Luke, the happy times we spend together. Sadness....it leaves me sadened to think I allowed the day to pass without the happiness of Luke's life lifting me.

Mine eyes look to the hills, from whence cometh my help? My help comes from The Lord.

Lift my eyes Lord....I need to focus my sight higher....