Run the Race set before you. I will never leave you or forsake you.

In August 1967 as a 5 year old girl in the middle of the boys week of camp I met my Saviour!
I can remmber that day very clearly. I was sat in an open part of the Field in Rhoose South Wales reading my book, The Little Goose Girl. Suddenly my brother Ian came running across the field to me shouting, Tina, you have to go talk to hank come on you have to! Reluctantly putting my book down and starting to run after him I couldnt catch what he was saying. When we found Hank inside Ian's squad's tent, Ian turned to Hank saying please tell Tina about it Hank, please!

So a little while later I was sat on the pile of blankets and sleeping bags in the tent whilst Hank explained to mem about Jesus. About how everything I had ever one wrong was paid for by Jesus dying on the cross for me. We talked a long time about what Jesus had done, about how he willingly went to the cross to die for me. There were lots of tears and laughter and some singing. I remember singing Search me Oh God, and know my heart I pray. We had learnt it that week at camp and I loved the thought of Jesus knowing everything about me, all my thoughts and loving me all the same. After a while Brian helped me to pray to ask Jesus into my heart. even at 5 years old it was amazing to know that peace of letting Jesus take all my worried and cares.

I had always known about Jesus, had always prayed. Prayed at night with Daddy, Gentle Jesus Meek and mild, look upon this lettle child, suffer her simplicity, suffer her to come to thee. Amen. Daddy prayed that prayer with me for as long as I can remember. Today, that day in August 1967 I came to him, really came to him and he met me there.

Over the last 43 years I have learnt more and more about my Saviour. More of His love, more of His Grace and more of the suffering he endured to buy me back to God. Our commision is to the Run the Race he set before us, he has a road for us to walk and He knows the obstacles before us and He promises to be there beside us all the way.

Back at camp in 1973 I realised that God wanted more of me. KNowing I was saved, that my place in heaven was assured through the finished work that Jesus did at Calvary was not enough. God also wants us to follow His son through the waters of Baptism. Baptism through immersion speaks of dying to our old life and going forward in our new life. It is a public witness to others that we are living a life walking with Jesus. I had a lot to think about after camp that year. There were things in my life I knew were not right. Things I had to put right. It was therefore january of the net year before I actually was batpised. Now I dont recommend January as being a comfortable mont to get baptised! I dont think there was the luxury of heaters in the baptistry in yeovil. I am sure they had to break the ice! Well maybe that is a bit of an exageration but it as jolly cold. Suffering for my faith hey?
This brings me to the purpose of this blog.

Since 1967 I have had a growing assurance of the certainty of my salvation. a certainty of heaven. An assurane of God being ALMIGHTY. That God is in control and has a purpose in all things. A certainty that my life here is not all there is but is a preperation for heaven. A hope that I can bring God Glory in my life and in what I do. ( a certainty that I fal short often and an assurance that He is ready and willing to give me another chance)!

Throughout my life there have been times when things have become very difficult, even painful. Mostly in these times my first port of call has been prayer, and requesting prayer. Sometimes my prayer is very simplistic, I am struggling Lord, help me guide me. Other times it can be much more specific and led by scripture and reflection, the words of Hymns can often help me to form my prayer. There are times when I find it hard to pray, not knowig what to pray for or how to put my anguish into words.
That Scripture that tells me, When I know not what to pray the spirit will intercede for me with groanings that cannot be uttered. Really comes into my heart at those times.

As I grew up and entered into alduthood and independance I became more and more aware of the needs of others. My own intercessions became more of a part of my prayer life. Often there is nothing I can do practically when I know people are hurting, but I know I can pray. There have been many times when friends have encountered all sorts of trials, ill health, the loss of loved ones, sick children and then we met up with the loss of children. Still I knew I could bring people's needs and hurts before God and pray. Feed back from those friends has often let me know that God has spoken to them in their loss and grief and fear. There are other occasions when we know people have turned away from God. Still we pray for them.

In 1990 we were faced with the sudden and unexpected loss of our son. thre were times in those first few minutes and hours I screamed "why"? my heart was breaking and my legs could barely hold me up. We rang my parents from the hospital ward and my Mum sang down the phone to me.
When He cometh When He cometh to make up His Jewels....
She sang the whole Hymn, with tears streaming down my face I knew that Luke was not mine, He was on loan from God and his work here was now done, finished and Luke had gone home to be with Jesus, Longing to hold him one more time was fine, but I was happy for him too. Thankful for the memories.

Six months later as we were planning the arrival of our next adoption, I knew I could not take this baby home until I was ready to hand him too into God's care. he too would be God's child on loan to us....for how long no one could say but I had to be willing to give him back when asked. Could I agree to that? I wasnt sure. I was driving to Church when this argument began in my head. I pulled oer into a layby and prayed, At first not knowing what to pray I slowly began to realise that God was ALMIGHTY, was in control and wanted only good things for us. Eventually I was able to pray that God would loan us this child for the time he was needed here, and that I would with God's help hand him back willingly when required. I arrived at Church that morning both late and red eyed, but at peace at last.
It was just a few months later that we were handing Jonathan over to the surgeons for heart surgery, being told the chances of him surviving were less than 5% but without surgery he would not survive another 6 months. At this point I faltered, for just a few minutes I regretted that time in the layby, Why had I been so willing to hand him over to God. I already knew he couldnt be trusted.......and then I stopped. God could be trusted, At Luke's funeral people were saved, what better tribute to a child, what more could I ask? God was in control and He would be glorified.
For the last few months we had been singing with Jonathan over and over, Into my heart, into my heart come into my heart lord jesus, Come in today, come in to stay, come in.......and mend my hole!

If it was God's will Jonthan would be mended.....if it wasn't then he would be mended fully and join Luke in that party in heaven! Whichever, God was supreme and He had a plan for us and we would run the race he set before us.

Jonathan did survive, there were some rocky moments but each time, God said not yet, have him back a while.

that was 20 years ago and Jonathan is still with us he has many more health issues and we have many concerns about him, but we are glad to have him as long as God wants him here.
Of course there have been many more difficulties we have been called to face. Each one has brough a challenge, each one has had the potential to rock my faith. Sometimes my faith has been shaken but each time I have been able to hear that still small voice.....God is Almighty and He is there before us and beside us.

The Bible has never promised us an easy smooth pathway. On the contrary the promise is that we will suffer, that sharing in Jesus' suffering is a blessing. Moreover our suffering in this life is not to be compared with the glory that will be revealed in us.
What a promise we have....this life is not alll there is and the glory of heaven will be such that we cannot compare our suffering here with it.
Life is hard, there are times I want to give up when my whole being cries....even so come Lord Jesus. Longing for heaven.....
Yes there is a work to be done here still.....If Jesus came today...would you be ready to meet him?

When I think to that day in Alder Hey Hospital when I wanted to take back my son from God's care....when I wanted to say no you are not having this one....I think of how hypocritical that was....for years I had been praying for families I love and care about, whose children have been seriously ill and some who have died...I never doubted God when I was praying for them....why then when sorow touched my life did that make thigns any different....How could I turn my back on God because what had and does happen to others suddenly hit me? Bad things do happen, it is a result of sin in the world, Not a punishment of God meted out to a family, a mother a father etc, but purley because Sin is here.....in Heaven where there is no sin there will be no sickness, no tears, no pain.....But the Bible tells us of all of the wages of sin....and also tells us of the free gift of God....Life through Jesus death.
Take God's free gift, embrace it and live! There is no promise that you will then not have suffering, The promise is that jesus will never leave you!