Running on Empty!

Struggling is a word I have used a lot this week. David and I are struggling to deal wtih Eve's diagnosis! Most difficult is the fact we have not had time to be alone together to even discuss it! We came home from the hospital after recieving the confirmation her Muscle Biopsy was positive for Mitochondrial Myopathy and our house was full! Builders, children, carer, just full of hustle and bustle and people needing us! A meal had to be prepared for the kids and the builders, the carer went home with the extra child in tow. OK it was two less people in the house but it was the loss of a pair of hands and a kindly face and hugs.
There has not been a chance since then for us to really get to grips with dealing with the issue! Having buried our heads in the sand so effectively since Eve became so unwell in June pulling them out and making sense of the view is painful!
So Running on empty as far as emotions go...energy is at a low ebb too! Today David and I have worked together at constructin the new stair case.....half way through we had to commit to demolishing the old one! Constructing the new one was nothing like the DVD showed! For a start the cool unflustered guy was no where to be found in the box! He was there on the video, single handedly placing one step below the previous, leveling tightening and setting to the next! But when we tried it the level kept dropping the sides were not plumb and the bolts would not stay where they needed to be! By 9 pm tonight the stair case was in situ! but held in place with several strategically placed lengths of 2x2 and an acro prop! Tomorrow all will come clear and it will fall into place! ( So long as it doesnt fall into the lounge in the meantime! My body is screeching! I have fed it pain killers, antiinflammatories and steroids( All prescribed to me I hasten to add)....I am sure that spanner was far to heavy for me to weild! I did next to no lifting, and very little but holding in place and reading the instructions! my joints are not convinced! tomorrow I go back to being forwoman!
Running on Empty....yep that includes the bank balance! Our funds for the adaptations from the council are frozen until the work is finished! We have had to take out a loan and the credit card is no longer flexible it has stretched too far! The builder is coming back for his last week and we will be scraping the bottom of many barrels to pay his last weeks wages.
We have horrible stuff from the begining of all this nagging away, unsure of how I should respond to an offer made.....it is an inadequate offer but where does my response leave me with God? Running on empty? Yes my faith is intact but my understanding is failing me!

Running on empty .....in so many ways I am empty....if you have needed my friendship recently! I have probably let you down, I am sorry....I feel I have nothing to give! My love and prayers will have to suffice! They are replenished daily by yours. God's Grace is my wealth right now!